if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
