When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
