Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize