i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
We have started to decorate penises.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
