Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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