White coat. Heels.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
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