So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
