Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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