they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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