There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
