Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
