I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
