I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
