Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
