Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
