were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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