no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Randomize
