it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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