I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
