Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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