I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
