Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
