with your own penis?
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Randomize
