I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize
