honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
