Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
