I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
