I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Randomize
