I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
