i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
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