My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
