She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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