Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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