hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
