you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
