if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
The Olympian is in my bed
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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