they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
