Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
