shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
