I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
