Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize