so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
