Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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