I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
