Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize