So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize