Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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