lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
