He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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