The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
