the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
