i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
