Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
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