I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
