dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
