Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
