you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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