We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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