I must be too annoying 4 u.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
