i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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