He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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