I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
