Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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